MELBOURNE 10.02

Hai!

Hari ini saya dan tiga teman saya sedikit menjelajah kota Melbourne yang selalu sibuk itu. Semua tempat-tempat ini bisa dituju dengan jalan kaki! Ya, saya masih membiasakan diri untuk selalu berjalan kaki selama itu memungkinkan. 

Saya naik kereta dari Ringwood Station menuju Flinders Street Station, dari situ kami berjalan-jalan sambil menikmati gerimis dan mendungnya kota Melbourne - yang juga berangin. Mungkin bukan lucky day untuk berjalan-jalan, tapi saya selalu mencoba untuk menikmati setiap harinya tinggal di  one of the most livable cities ini. 

Shrine of Remembrance 

State Library of Victoria 

Bourke Street Melbourne 

Hosier Lane Street Art 

Masih banyak tempat-tempat di Melbourne yang ingin saya kunjungi! I'll let you know ;)

SALAM DARI MELBOURNE, VICTORIA, AUSTRALIA

McAlpin Reserve, Ringwood North

Saya tiba di Melbourne pada 26 Januari lalu itu artinya sampai hari ini sudah sekitar dua minggu saya meninggalkan Indonesia. Kalau ditanya gimana rasanya? Campur aduk! Ada perasaan bangga, tidak menyangka waktu yang saya habiskan untuk belajar, bahasa yang setiap hari saya pakai, yang terkadang penggunaannya pun masih salah, usaha yang saya lakukan untuk bisa bangun dari masa-masa sulit ketika quarter life crisis terjadi (baca bagian satu dan dua), semuanya bisa membawa saya sampai kesini. Namun ada juga perasaan sedih dan takut karena selama ini saya tidak pernah tinggal jauh dari keluarga, ketika ada kesempatan untuk eksplorasi diri, wah sampai beda benua! Wajar kali ya, saya akan berada disini selama setahun penuh.

Tinggal di negara yang memiliki budaya yang sangat jauh berbeda dengan budaya Indonesia membuat saya merasa cemas pada awalnya. Tapi dua-tiga hari tinggal disini, pelan-pelan tahu kalau perbedaan budaya tidak boleh menjadi penghalang saya untuk belajar sabar dan kuat. Kesempatan yang telah Allah Swt. beri, kesempatan yang mungkin hanya akan terjadi selama satu kali dalam hidup saya tidak bisa disia-siakan begitu saja. Masa adaptasi dengan budaya baru, berbicara dalam bahasa Inggris yang jelas bukan bahasa pertama saya, tinggal dengan keluarga lain mungkin tidak bisa dibiasakan dalam waktu singkat dan jelas tidak mudah. Bukan hidup kalau tidak belajar, ya kan?

Belum banyak yang bisa saya ceritakan soal pengalaman minggu-minggu awal saya di Melbourne, tepatnya saya tinggal di Ringwood, salah satu suburb. Tapi yang saya tahu selama dua minggu ini, hampir semua orang yang saya temui sangat ramah. Saya jadi belajar untuk tidak malu bertanya dan meminta tolong kalau saya benar-benar tidak bisa. Selain itu, saya juga membiasakan untuk selalu menyapa orang yang saya temui misalnya ketika sarapan dan baru bertemu dengan Australia parents saya, "Good morning. How's your sleep?" atau di tempat kerja, "How's your day so far?" atau "How's it going?" yang sejujurnya jarang saya lakukan di Indonesia.

Selama tinggal disini saya juga jadi banyak jalan kaki, mau ke supermarket saya jalan kaki dulu selama 30 menit - sebetulnya orang-orang disini cuma butuh 15 menit tapi karena saya jalannya lambat jadi waktunya dua kali lipat. Habis enak banget sepanjang jalan dari rumah menuju supermarket saya disuguhi pemandangan langit biru yang cerah dan taman-taman yang bersih. Setiap pagi sebelum berangkat kerja, saya sempatkan jalan di taman belakang rumah sekitar 10-15 menit untuk menghirup udara pagi. Kadang kalau habis makan malam juga sebelum langitnya mulai gelap saya jalan lagi. Supaya terbiasa dengan jalan kaki hihi.

Pengalaman mengajar di primary school dan secondary college sejauh ini luar biasa. Respon siswa-siswa yang positif pada saya dan juga bahasa Indonesia membuat saya semakin bangga dan semangat mengajar. Hal ini juga membuat saya semakin termotivasi untuk menjadi seseorang yang lebih baik dari sekarang. Semoga saja pengalaman ini akan menjadi sesuatu yang menjadi life changing moment untuk saya. I'm sure of it.

WELCOME 2018

Good morning and Happy New Year! 

How's your new year's eve celebration? Mine was really great! 

I hope 2018 will be our year for learning and accepting new chances, new journey and of course, the time to evolve. I'm not a fortune teller but I can feel it in my gut, this year will be much better than previous year.

Here are 17 things I learned in 2017... 

1. In order to achieve your dreams, you need to sacrifice
2. God know what's the best for you and things didn't work out for reasons 
3. One door closed, ten doors open
4. Happiness is a choice and you have the control of it
5. You deserve to choose
6. Good things take times. It sucks but it's worth to fight and wait
7. Take risk and step out from your comfort zone
8. The time is NOW
9. Get your priorities straight
10. Learn how to rest not to quite. Great things are not for quitter
11. It's okay to cry 
12. Being in love, not falling for the idea of love
13. Have a social media detox, it's healthier for your mental health
14. Be brave for you!
15. Photography is fun. It reflects your personality
16. Sometimes, we need to reward ourselves by buying an expensive chocolate and it's worth
17. Stop overthinking. It kills dreams more than closed doors. 

Let's close 2017 with smile and welcome 2018 with wide arms open to take new opportunities for us to evolve as a better person. 

Once again, happy new year! 

GIVING UP ON DREAM

"Girls should not be afraid to be smart"- Emma Watson

For as long as I remember, one of my dreams is to study as high as I could. It might sounds pretentious but growing up, I always want to be someone who is known for her intelligence. It's not ambition, but I think being a smart woman is worth to fight. If I'm smart, my children will be the smart ones too. There's no disadvantage of being smart. 

When I was a student in junior high school, I was bullied because I often refused to hang out with my friends after school and my grades were higher than them (stupid reason to bully people, right? well, every bully always has stupid reason for stupid action). First, because it was school day. Second, my parents wouldn't let me to hang out on weekdays - or any days. Third, honestly, I prefer to stay at home doing homework rather than hang out and talking about boys and gossiping other girls. Well, yeah, you can call me nerd. It's okay. I am nerd. Nerd is cool ;) 

After graduated high school, I went to college and finish my bachelor degree within four years. I was graduated as Bachelor in Education, with major Indonesian Language and Literature Education. Before I graduated, two years before, I was writing down my plans what I would do after graduated. Finding a job that would be suit with my degree seemed not a good option at that time. I felt like my education, my degree, were not enough to fulfill my dreams. So I decided I'd continue my education. I'd apply to postgraduate schools. My closest ones knew I always wanted to study abroad but because of my health condition, I couldn't go for bachelor degree abroad so I would do on my master degree instead. 

Graduate college, earned good GPA, I was accepted in five out of seven universities I had applied, those are my dream universities to study to. I applied to prestigious universities at United Kingdom, Australia, United States and of course, my own country, Indonesia. I was offered from the university I always dreamt of - the one that everybody does. The day I got email from this university, I almost fainted. I'm still remember how happy I was: crying, screaming, hugging my Mom who was with me that morning. That day obviously one of the happiest days of my life. The highlight of my lowlife.

I was so proud of my achievement, all the hard works, tears, time I spent, it's all paid off. Even in smallest achievement we got, we should be proud. So, to say I wasn't happy and proud would be such a vast understatement. Few days after I received those acceptance letters, I immediately applied for scholarships. Every scholarship that I could find at that time.

In this journey to continue my master degree, I've failed my IELTS test but I rose and tried again and earned more than I needed. I've rejected in my first try for scholarship but I kept trying to find another. I got rejected on my second and tried again. I went through hard times with my personal life but it didn't stoping me to go after my dream. 

I had these letter of acceptance on my hands, letters that proved my ability and credibility to study at those universities, the chance to study with people who have the similar dreams with me, the moment to evolve to be someone I always dream of. I had took so many stairs to get these letters, I was half way there. I was so close to my dream.

Unfortunately, it wasn't my door. At least, not now. Not yet.

I failed in all of scholarships application I've ever tried. Some even failed when I didn't even have chance to fight. I was in the lowest phase of my life for months. It might sounds horrible and too much, but I didn't have much passion to finish my master degree in where I'm currently studying, because all I had in mind was I finally go to that university.

Few weeks after that, another door opened. Another thing that was completely far from what I had on my mind on my whole existence. I was offered a job, abroad, for a year (we get to this part in another post). I prayed, asking to Allah Swt., if this was the answer of my hopelessness. After few conversation with Allah Swt. (night praying, reading Qur'an, fasting) I was assured to take the job. I was ensured for what I need.

A week after that, I wrote an email to the Dean of the university (yes, that university) to decline my offer. I was crying whilst typing. I was crying all day. It was hard to let go, but it would be harder to keep fighting for something you didn't destined, yet. I was crying but also proud that I could let it go. I was crying to find my strength.

Some people said that we should never give up on our dreams and I believe in that, one hundred percent agree. But the past two and half years of trying, fighting, crying, praying, and learning, I realize that we can't always have what we have fight for. Sometimes, letting go is the best choice we have. Sometimes, things are not working no matter how hard we try and that's okay.

It is okay to have dreams as high as we want. It's okay to dream something that seems impossible. It is completely okay to try and fail and try, try, try again.
But it is also okay to let go. 

It's a sorrowful fact that not all dreams end in victory. It takes time to really accept that not everything we want, we plan, is going to be smooth as we want it to be. To raise and learn from sad times, it's also a victory. To be able to accept the fact that God give us what we need not what we want, is a glory.

The good thing about follow your dream is the one that doesn't work out for us can lead you to something that is better than you could have ever imagined. It leads you to new chances, new places, new dreams. In my twenties, I'm glad I have realized one of many things that are necessary to understand: life works in a very mysterious way. If I hadn't followed my dream, I might would never be able to do an interview in English (which is not my first language) with confidence. I would never offered this job. To think further, it was only by trying to pursue one dream - tried and failed - that I was given another chance, hopefully the much better one.

After all, perhaps life should not ruled by single passion. Perhaps, life is supposed to be filled with numerous adventures, moving from one dream to another, try to find the right door for us. Perhaps, this is what life wants to teach us, to be a warrior of our dreams, to be stronger each day, to evolve. 

I didn't giving up, I put my dream aside for awhile. Maybe this year or next year not the right year for me to study abroad but work instead. Maybe three years from now, I'd be registered (again) as master student at that university or others, who knows. Maybe I'd be married to the love of my life. Who knows. What I know now is I am not failed, I earned new path from my dream. This is not the end, it is simply the moment that I have realized to start a new slate. This is only the beginning of many adventures.

Thanks for reading and good luck! xx