2018 IN A POST

2018, a year of growth. The year when I learnt so much about life and every aspect of it. The year when I learnt how to evolve. 

Here are some of the best highlights that I will cherish forever.

WEEKEND DIARY | PART 17

This is my last weekend diary in 2018. What a well-spent weekend x 

CHRISTMAS 2018

This year, I was very lucky to able to spend Christmas with the most loving and beautiful family I've ever known in Australia. I'm forever grateful to be a part of this family for the past year. No matter where I am next year, they'll always be my family. 

Merry Christmas! 

WEEKEND DIARY | PART 16

This has been an emotional week for me because I've finished my job as a language assistant. I had farewells at two schools where I worked, said goodbyes to the students and staffs. I wasn't ready. I'm not. I wish I had another year. 

However, this was a great week to celebrate the ending of my work here. Even better on the weekend because I've been caught up with some people that I really want to catch up with, went to places I've been meaning to visit and more than that, made me happy!

MENJADI BU VERA DI AUSTRALIA

Awal tahun 2018, aku terbang ke Australia dengan amanah menjadi seorang guru bantu atau language assistant di bawah pimpinan Department of Education and Training (DET) Victoria. Perasaan cemas akan memulai pekerjaan baru, tinggal dengan orang asing, dan bahkan, berbicara dalam bahasa asing. 

Namun, seluruh kecemasan dan kekhawatiran itu hanya ada di kepala. Ketika tiba di Ringwood tanggal 28 Januari, aku disambut oleh pelukan hangat Graham dan Donna Harris - yang kemudian menjadi orang tua Australia-ku. Sore itu aku di ajak berkeliling sekitar rumah, pergi ke taman, berjalan-jalan di pusat perbelanjaan, dan bahkan kami bertiga makan es krim bersama. Sejak hari itu, hari-hariku di Ringwood selalu luar biasa.

WEEKEND DIARY | PART 15

This weekend, I met up with the other language assistants at St. Kilda Beach. It was a great catch up to finally sat down and talked. I met with Diane quite often but with the others, we haven't been since March! 

It only took us 9 months to finally meet up again. I really wish we could have more time together. I couldn't be more grateful for this language assistants program to bring us, all around the world, to be able to have good times together in one place with one language. It's not goodbye, it's until we meet again. All the best luck guys! 

WEEKEND DIARY | PART 14

Akhir pekan ini, aku dan beberapa teman language assistants dan IKAN berkunjung ke rumah Ibu Maria Obrowski di Greensborough. Beliau dengan berbaik hati mengundang kami untuk makan siang bersama sembari merayakan hubungan baik kami selama hampir setahun ini. 

Aku bertemu dengan Ibu Maria karena beliau adalah salah satu anggota VILTA. Pertama kali bertemu di konferensi internasional tahunan VILTA dan sejak itu beliau sudah seperti keluarga. Memang benar kata orang, ketika kita tinggal di luar negeri, kemudian bertemu dengan orang dari tanah air itu berbeda. Ini sudah kali kedua kami berkunjung ke rumahnya, pertama kali ketika kami makan malam di hari Idulfitri. 

Terima kasih, Bu Maria. Insya Allah ini bukan terakhir kalinya kita bertemu ya. 

PLAYLIST | DAYS BEFORE SUNSHINE

The transition from raindrops to the ray of sunshine. Enjoy!

1. Baby - Clean Bandit feat. Marina and the Diamonds & Luis Fonsi 
2. Bluebird - Sara Bareilles 
3. Come Out and Play - Billie Eilish 
4. Hugging You (Acoustic)  - Tom Rosenthal feat Billie Marten 
5. Let's Fall In Love for the Night - Finneas
6. Light - Sleeping At Last
7. Movement - Hozier
8. Remember - Typhoon 
9. Rose Petals - S. Carey
10. The Less I Know the Better - Tame Impala 

Love, Vera

MENGECUP LUKA

William Ricketts Sanctuary, Victoria.

"Anak sulung yang kami besarkan oleh cinta tidak akan kalah dengan hal yang bukan cinta. Terkadang memang terlihat tidak mudah tapi bukan berarti tidak mungkin. Diri sendiri suka membuat kejutan, yang dikira tidak bisa justru melampaui ekspektasi. Intinya percaya pada diri sendiri, bahkan ketika kamu tidak bisa." - DS. 

Ketika ada yang bertanya "bagaimana perasaanmu?" atau pertanyaan paling umum sekalipun, "apa kabar?" kebanyakan dari korban kekerasan emosional akan menjawab "aku baik-baik saja." dan tentu, itu sebuah kebohongan besar. 

Mungkin, inilah caraku menjelaskan keadaan yang sebenarnya setelah mengalami kekerasan emosional. 

Seperti naik rollercoaster. Ada hari di mana aku sangat bersemangat menjalani hari-hariku, mengejar mimpiku, bahkan aku bisa bilang dengan yakin kalau aku sangat bersyukur sudah berpisah dengan dia, aku bisa bersenang-senang dengan teman-temanku, aku siap membuka pintu-pintu kesempatan. Tapi, ada juga hari yang bahkan untuk bangun dari tempat tidur saja aku tidak sanggup. Teriakan, bentakan, kata dan kalimat yang mengiris hati itu terngiang, bahkan aku bisa mendengar suaranya. Ya, suara teriakannya. Jantungku berdegup kencang, kepala dan telingaku sakit, dan aku hanya bisa menangis, berusaha untuk bernapas karena rasanya seperti ada yang mencekik leherku. 

Bagi sebagian orang, mungkin lebih buruk atau mungkin tidak separah itu. Jika orang lain tahu, akan ada yang menghakimi "ya ampun, berlebihan sekali. Masa sampai segitunya?" karena mereka tidak tahu. Mereka tidak bisa memahami perasaan survivors, jangan merasa sedih dan kecewa ketika orang lain bereaksi jauh dari harapan. Ingat, mereka hanya bisa membayangkan. They didn't understand how it feels like. 

Itulah kenapa hanya kamu yang bisa menolong dirimu sendiri. 

MOVIE | FANTASTIC BEAST: THE CRIMES OF GRINDELWALD (2018)

Copyright Warner Bros

"Everyone is scared of something," - Albus Dumbledore

I just didn't know where to start with this review, honestly. I like it but also at the same time, I'm so disappointed with how it turned out especially the ending.

It wasn't a horrible movie but it's not a good Harry Potter prequel. It is simply, oh my goodness can't believe I'd say something like this, the worst Harry Potter movie. The movie answered some of the questions from the previous movie, also some from the Harry Potter franchise. Unfortunately, it left me with more questions that I have beforehand. How was it possible? I have no clue.

As per usual, David Yates did an amazing job at making this movie interesting to start with. Began with some action scenes while introducing the new characters and a new plot. It was one beautiful ride. The film gave us a wonderful visual. For younger viewers, this might be too heavy as in too fast, too dark and too violent at some point. 

However, as the plot began to build, it got messy. It wasn't a horrible mess, it's just really messy I found it hard to follow and recognise where this movie wanted to bring us. Plot-wise, I was a bit disappointed with how it turned out. Especially the ending that left me devastating. Regarding to the title, Crimes of Grindelwald, I don't see any threat at all from him. He was just there, being one of the amazing wizards and influencers, and that's it. 

More about the movie, I love how they balanced its wonderful visual with the stunning original soundtrack. The original Harry Potter theme was giving me chill! I literally cried a bit when I heard the theme! Who wouldn't? As a Potterhead, I haven't heard that song - yes, it's on my head now as I type - in a cinema for a year or so.

In term of the new casting, gosh... couldn't be more grateful to see these actors played their characters. As if they're born to be in this movie. I mean, come on, Johnny Depp as Gellert Grindelwald, Jude Law as Albus Dumbledore, Zoe Kravitz as Leta Lestrange? Who would thought that was the most perfect decision?! Also, Claudia Kim as Nagini is just one of the best casting choices. I felt like she's just perfect for the role. What a pity, this film wasted their amazing talents.

Overall, I wasn't sure if I'm going to watch this movie again - probably not. My usual viewing for Harry Potter movies usually more than five times but for this one, I can't be bothered to pay for another ticket. It's just sad that it wasn't how we expected. But, if you are Potterhead, see how it goes for you. Maybe this is personal preference, maybe it's just me.

Love, Vera

TERIRIS KATA

Cockatoo Island, Sydney, NSW.

"Dia memang tidak pernah memukulku, tapi dia membuatku merasa tidak berharga."

Ketika berbicara tentang kekerasan, orang akan secara otomatis berpikir tentang mendorong, memukul, mengguncang, menampar, menendang, dan sebagainya. Tidak banyak yang menyadari kalau kekerasan emosional sama bahayanya dengan kekerasan fisik. Aku bahkan jarang menemukan topik ini menjadi bahan pembicaraan orang banyak. Sebagian besar merasa kekerasan emosional itu tidak ada, sisanya menganggap itu fase dari sebuah hubungan. 

Kekerasan emosional (sering disebut juga kekerasan mental atau kekerasan verbal) seringkali diartikan sebagai fase pertengkaran atau emosi sesaat. Pertengkaran dan kekerasan emosional berbeda. Bertengkar dengan pasangan itu wajar, adanya perbedaan pendapat atau argumen, itu pertengkaran normal. Namun jika adanya bentakan, menggunakan kata-kata kasar, bahkan kata-kata yang seharusnya tidak pernah keluar dari mulut seseorang itu bukan lagi pertengkaran, itu kekerasan verbal.

Sebagian besar dari kita tahu ciri-ciri kekerasan fisik tapi kekerasan emosional cukup sulit untuk diketahui karena tidak terlihat maka dari itu sering diabaikan. Padahal kekerasan emosional berdampak sama - bahkan dalam beberapa kasus, lebih buruk daripada kekerasan fisik. Menurut Jim Hedges dalam Escape the Hidden Dangers of Emotional Manipulation, akibat dari kekerasan emosional adalah hilangnya harga diri, kepercayaan diri, trauma seperti PTSD, depresi, bahkan bunuh diri. 

Emotional abuse is isolating and manipulating your perspective, chiselling your self-worth. It is not incident, it is the meticulous and malicious breaking down of your perception of who you are until you are left feeling worthless, spent and useless. Emotional abuse it the murder of your soul. 

MOVIE | BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY (2018)

"We can be. We believe in each other... that's everything. We are going to do great things. It's an experience - love, tragedy, joy... it's something that people will feel belongs to them." - Freddie Mercury.

Grew up in a family that loves music, I was familiar with Queen's songs. My brother, he loved rock and roll so much. He grew his hair up to his shoulders, dressed up like a rock star and went to uni like that! He was very cool! I mean, he dressed up like a rock star and took Law as major. Cool, wasn't it? His room was next to mine and I could wake up either to Metallica or Queen, depending on his mood that morning. 

So yeah, Queen was pretty much one part of my life. When I watched the trailer for the first time, I was so surprised. But learning from experiences, I didn't let myself to have high expectation. I love Rami Malek, but biopic always let me down. One fine Monday, I went to the cinema, bought myself a nice pumpkin spice latte and popcorn and prepared to enjoy the movie. 

134 mins and I didn't touch my drink neither my popcorn. I was so busy watching the movie. The whole time, I forgot it was a film, not a documentary. It felt so real! I didn't know if the story was authentic or not, but for some moments - especially when they were on the stage - I didn't see Rami Malek acted as Freddie Mercury, what I saw Freddie Mercury did his things. I felt elated and also sad at the same time. Happy because of the songs and how it portrayed on the screen, sad because they are no longer the same now. 

WEEKEND DIARY | PART 13

This weekend, my Aussie family and I went to William Ricketts Sanctuary. We found the place when we went back from the Rhododendron Gardens last week and it was just, "Yap, we're going to that place next week!" 

I have never been to this kind of place before - I'm not even sure we have art sanctuary in Indonesia. For me, this is a very different place. I love it! The atmosphere is so peaceful, quiet, and yet so eerie at some point. I don't know, there's a sense of haunting: probably because there are many eyes from the sculptures or maybe because of the quietness.  

Anyway, these are some snaps that I took. Enjoy ;) 

WEEKEND DIARY | PART 12

The fresh air, the flowers, the scent, the beautiful view...Here are the highlights from my well-spent Saturday with my favourite people at the National Rhododendron Gardens. 

MOVIE | A STAR IS BORN (2018)

Tell me something, boy. Aren't you tired trying to fill that void? Or do you need more? Ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore?

I have no words to describe how beautiful this movie is. Everything is just... brilliant! I never watched the original movie so I didn't know what to expect, not even knowing the story. Ever since I saw the trailer for the first time and cried, of course, because of the song and the gorgeousness of Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga together in one screen. 

I watched this movie twice. The first time, I had a movie companion and I wasn't crying as bad as I thought I would be. But the second time, I went by myself and I was devastated. I mean, I knew what's going to happen but it felt like the first time I saw everything and even more hurtful to watch. I have no clue why I was like that, why I was okay when I watched with someone but then cried my eyeballs out - had to wipe those mascara from under my eyes. Silly Vera! 

MOVIE | BEAUTIFUL BOY (2018)

"I need to find a way to fill this black hole in me. I still have a family. I want them to be proud of me." - Nic Sheff.

There are so many reasons why I was so excited about the movie. First of all, this movie has some of my favourite actors: Steve Carell, Timothée Chalamet, Amy Ryan, Maura Tierney... I mean, what could be wrong? The Office never wrong, right? Second of all, the book is beautiful. It's so complex and scary at some stages, but it is brilliant!

LUCK OF UNIVERSE

How did we get here?

From all of the people in the world 

You and I

Found and saved each other 

From ourselves

BLOOM

I, 
like those flowers, 
blooming 
and be myself again

WEEKEND DIARY | PART 11

Weekend getaway to be surrounded by the ocean and blue sky

Waterfront Geelong

PLAYLIST | UP AND ABOVE

Songs that I listened while I was up in the clouds for 11 hours...

1. Because - The Beatles
2. Black Water -  Of Monsters and Men
3. Buzzcut Season - Lorde
4. Can't Make You Love Me - Britney Spears
5. Concerto Pour Elle - Saint-Preux 
6. My Friends - Oh Wonder 
7. Shallow - Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper 
8. Talk - Kodaline 
9. Tears Dry on Their Own - Amy Winehouse
10.  Worth It - Kodaline

WEEKEND DIARY | PART 10

Bukan akhir pekan, tapi masih libur sekolah. Terima kasih Thomas dan Rika yang sudah mengajak aku dan Asri berkeliling di kota Geelong dan sekitarnya!

Cunningham Pier

RSC GALA CONCERT 2018

My Dad loves classical music - we have three shelves filled with CDs, heaps of Mozart, Beethoven, Vivaldi, Grainger, Bach, Tchaikovsky and more. So I'm pretty familiar with their music since as long as I remember -  and I love it. Like I said, my music taste is strange from classical to alternative rock to experimental rock. 

I always want to go to the orchestra. It's one of many dreams that I have with Dad - I remember there was one day we were stuck on traffic as per usual and we listened to the classical music, it was almost 7 pm and the sun was setting. We talked about one day we should go to the orchestra concert together and he said, maybe not in Indonesia since it was not really popular. We will, Pip! 

Long story short, I found out my school, Ringwood Secondary College would have a gala concert. Of course, I worked myself to find out more since there was no further info at the school website. Three weeks ago, one of my year 11 students told me that I could book the ticket on a specific link and he emailed me, thanks, Patrick! Later that night, Ben also sent me an email about the event details. Lucky me!! I clicked on the link and booked myself in - and of course, told my parents. 

Last night, the night finally came. I was very excited! While I was getting ready, I facetime my Dad. We talked for about 20 minutes. It was solid a great conversation - a father and daughter, very excited about music. 

So, here are some highlights from last night annual RSC Gala Concert. I didn't have a great sitting position, should have gone 30 minutes earlier! However, I had an absolutely amazing night. I cried when the senior string played Percy Grainger's song (one of my Dad's faves), absolutely beautiful! 

All of the performers!

SPRING

Walk through the wind.
Run in the rain. 
Smile beneath the pink sunset.
Bloom alongside the sun.

MOVIE | WHAT I'M WAITING FOR...

2018 has been a great year of movies! From the movie that I've been waiting for years, Avengers: Infinity War until my first film festival experience. Such a blast! However, there are heaps of movies that I'm still waiting for and I want to share with you. Do you have more titles for me to add on my list? 

Ps: Not in particular order. Just whatever pop in my hear ;)

Suspiria (dir: Luca Guadagnino) 

This movie is a thriller/horror movie, something that I normally don't really enjoy. But I love Luca's works. He's a brilliant director. So I'm very excited to see something artsy from a thriller movie. The trailer really got my attention, actually. Expected in November.

A Simple Favour (dir: Paul Feig) 

This movie looks interesting from the trailer. I don't know, something about Blake Lively's character - the boss bitch, rich, beautiful but also mysterious? Yes. I'm down. Expected in November.

Lizzie (dir: Craig William Macneill)

Oh dear, this movie, judging from the trailer, this movie is somewhat festival movie and I love the festival movie. A bit of drama, art, and twisted mystery. Yes. Take my money. Expected in September.

The Sisters Brothers (dir: Jacques Adiard) 

Jake Gyllenhaal and Joaquin Phoenix in one movie? Yes, please. Expected in October.

Venom (dir: Ruben Fleischer) 

Tom Hardy as a Venom? Yep. Yep. Yep. Expected in October.

First Man (dir: Damien Chazelle) 

The story is obviously predictable but I'm very excited about this movie. I mean, who did not? It's Damien Chazelle and Ryan Gosling again, duh! Expected in October.

Beautiful Boy (dir: Felix Van Groeningen)

Have you read the book? I repeat. Have. You. Read. The. Book? Yes. Of course, I'm waiting for this movie. Also, Timothee Chalamet and Steve Carell! Expected in October.

PLAYLIST | IT STARTS TO BLOOM

Just like flowers that start to bloom, I also start to gleam again...

1. Come On Mess Me Up - Cub Sport
2. Don't Let It Change You - Katelyn Tarver
3. Flowers of the Universe - Sade
4. Girl - SYML
5. Half As Good As You - Tom Odell, Alice Merton 
6. Half of My Heart - John Mayer
7. I Want to Hold Your Hand - The Beatles
8. La vie en rose - Êdith Piaf
9. Mess is Mine - Vance Joy
10. That Moon Song - Gregory Alan Isakov 

THE JOY!

Last night was incredible! There's no word can describe how happy and grateful I am to have such an amazing experience like that. Thank you, Vance Joy, for making all the years I've been waiting to see you perform in person worth the wait. 

Big thank to Didirri, Jack River and Cub Sport, you guys are amazing! And also, for my amazing concert companion, Zain, for keeping me sane during the night. It was simply one of the best highlights of my life. 

Here are some of the joys! 

PLAYLIST | TAKE ME TO AN ORCHESTRA, BABY!

I originally planned to clean up my Spotify playlists but then I just sat on my couch for hours, listened to the orchestra playlist that my Dad and I made a long time ago. Here are some of our most favourite songs. Enjoy! 

1. Ambre - Nils Frahm
2. Clair de lune - Claude Debussy
3. Duet - The Piano-Fortissimos 
4. Nocturne No. 2 in E-Flat Major - Frederic Chopin
5. Odissea veneziana - Rondò Veneziano 
6. Orchestral Suite No. 3 in D Major - Bach
7. Piano Sonata No. 17 in D Major - Beethoven
8. Symphony No. 5 - Beethoven
9. Symphony No. 9 - Dvoräk 
10. Toccata and Fugue in D Minor - Vanessa Mae

WEEKEND DIARY | PART 9

The weekend starts on Friday night, am I right?

Friday... I didn't do much on Friday but it was quite a productive evening. After work, I relaxed with a cup of vanilla chai latte and then had a shower. Later, I cooked dinner - my Aussie parents are away for a golf tour, so I'm all alone! :(

BELLABOX

If you don't know what is Bellabox, this is a subscription box of makeup and skincare products. What I love about them is first, so cheap. Second, the story comes from their love of skincare and makeup, from passion. I love trying out new products, playing around with my makeup routine (although most of the time I stick to the same routine). So I gave it a try and I received my first box a few days ago. 

So, here's what inside.

The box itself is so pretty, I will definitely reuse it. When I open the box, I got three cards. The first card is a list of products that we got, the second card is a little game card and the last card is a ingredients card which is good for those who have any specific allergies. 

This month's box has two face masks, one hair mask, one facial cleanser, one eyeliner and one primer. Personally, I think this is good. It's not only about skincare but also hair and makeup. I haven't had a chance to try all of these products, but I've tried the La Roche-Posay Toleriane Caring Wash which is the face cleanser and as it claimed, it doesn't dry or irritating my skin. It makes my skin feels so smooth. The other face product that I've tried is the Canvas Beauty gel mask, it's an amazing mask! Definitely will repurchase the full-size product! I also tried the Coco & Eve hair mask and it leaves my hair so soft and smells really good! 

1. Canvas Beauty Rose Otto Facial Hydro Gel Mask 
2. Coco & Eve Like A Virgin Super Nourishing Coconut & Fig Hair Masque 
3. La Roche-Posay Toleriane Caring Wash 
4. Revlon Youth Fill + Blur Primer 
5. Mellow Cosmetics Precision Liquid Pen Eyeliner 
6. Sand & Sky Australian Pink Clay Flash Perfection Exfoliating Treatment 

Love, Vera

PLAYLIST | VIVID DREAM

Sometimes, being alone is neccessary. Being sad is comfortable. And being your own hero is a must.

1. 4AM in London - Benjamin Francis Leftwich
2. Atlas: Six - Sleeping At Last
3. Fool - Frankie Cosmos 
4. Forgotten Love - Aurora
5. From Eden - Hozier 
6. Funeral - Phoebe Bridgers 
7. Let's See What The Night Can Do - Jason Mraz
8. No Tears Left to Cry - Ariana Grande
9. Peach - Broods
10. Straight Into Your Arms - Vance Joy 

BEAUTY | SUNDAY PAMPER ROUTINE

Sunday is my favourite day to do pampering because it recharges my energy before I'm going back to my daily routine on Monday. I like to do this every Sunday night, just before bed. I sleep better and wake up really fresh the next day. 

Here is my pamper routine. Hope it inspires you! Xx

LITTLE THINGS THAT MAKE ME FEEL BEAUTIFUL

eye contact 

fresh face after pampering routine 

flowers 

those blushing cheeks after laugh 

rosy lipstick 

wearing 'no makeup' makeup look 

floral perfume 

feeling my leg after shaving 

clean nails 

sunshine on the winter day touches my face 

new dress 

a kiss on the crown of my head 

MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL (MIFF) 2018 - W.2

MIFF, HERE WE GO AGAIN!

I'm so sad my film festival weekend comes to an end! We've been having so much fun on each day we were coming and watching the movies. This last weekend, we booked two movies. We spent our weekend for so many quality conversations about life and everything in between. And also pancakes! Two days in a row, Baby! 

To say that MIFF wasn't one of my best Australia highlights would be such a vast understatement. I will definitely come back next year if I have a chance! 

So... Here are some highlights from this weekend. Enjoy! 

Day 4: Saturday, 11 August 2018 

The Kindergarten Teacher (USA) 

Director: Sara Colangelo 

Language: English

Genre: Drama

Goodness! This movie is a rollercoaster ride from the beginning! It's easy to fall in love with all the characters, it felt so real to watch them living their lives. Maggie Gyllenhaal is a remarkable actress, no doubt, but in this movie, I can see her best work. Might be my most favourite movie of her. When I watched this movie as if I was inside her head. The way she thought, behaved, gestured, everything just adds more depth into the story, thou the story itself is definitely one of the most interesting, complex movies. 

Rating: 5/5 

Day 5: Sunday, 12 August 2018 

Sorry Angel (France) 

Director: Christophe Honoré 

Language: French

Genre: Drama, Romance 

What I love about French movie that it is always paying so many attention to the art and culture of the country, takes it as a tribute. The beauty of French cinema in a way they tell the story is so visible in this movie. Sorry, Angel is one of those movies that plays in audience emotional side without romanticise or glorifies the unfortunate events. 

Rating: 3/5  

PLAYLIST | SUNSHINE ON THE WINTER DAY

One of those days when everything seems going to be alright... I am going to be fine.

1. Always Done What You Say - Aquilo
2. Andante, Andante - Lily James 
3. Healing Hands - Conrad Sewell
4. Jubilee Road - Tom Odell 
5. Knowing Me, Knowing You - Jeremy Irvine, Lily James 
6. Lay All Your Love On Me - Dominic Cooper, Amanda Seyfried
7. Like to be You - Shawn Mendes, Julia Michaels 
8. The Road Less Wandered - Aquilo
9. Reasons to Stay Alive - Andy Burrows, Matt Haig
10. Stand Up - James Bay

SUATU SORE DENGAN AYAH

Your brain records everything you see, hear and feel. 

You just need to find a way to remember it. 

Entah tanggal berapa, kira-kira satu tahun lalu di bulan September, aku mengeluh pada Papih tentang quarter life crisis yang sedang aku alami - seolah tidak berujung! Memang sejak kecil, aku selalu bercerita pada kedua orang tuaku tentang apapun, mulai dari sekolah sampai urusan percintaan. Sebagian orang mungkin segan atau malu cerita pada orang tua, aku justru lebih nyaman bercerita pada mereka. Mereka pun memberi respon yang mudah aku pahami dan tidak jarang membuatku lebih bijak untuk mengambil keputusan. 

"Teteh capek, Pih. Gagal dan sakit hati terus." 

Kalimat itu yang keluar dari mulutku. Saat itu kami sedang berada di dalam mobil, terjebak macet di perempatan Pasteur, Bandung, seperti biasa. Aku memandangi awan putih yang terlihat jelas dari jendela mobil, Papih sedang meminum kopi yang kami beli lewat drive-thru Starbucks. 

"Kita gagal bukan berarti kita tidak pantas mendapatkannya, Teh. Belum waktunya, sabar." 

Aku menyeka air mataku. Saat itu suasana hatiku sedang benar-benar kacau, lelah dengan tugas-tugas kuliah dan sedikit stress menjelang keberangkatanku ke Australia (dan hari ini aku mengetik di kamar tidur yang sudah kutempati selama 6 bulan di Australia!). 

"Ya tapi sampai kapan sabarnya? Teteh udah berusaha, berdoa. I did everything that humanly possible, Pih." 

MELBOURNE INTERNATIONAL FILM FESTIVAL (MIFF) 2018 - W.1

Finally! 

I booked 10 movies and I could not be happier than this. Watching movie always has a big part of my life and to have a chance to go to Melbourne International Film Festival, sit in the same room with people who share the same passion with me, where we enjoy (and cry!) the movie. This event is definitely something I'm so proud and grateful for.

We booked for 5 days on the weekend, couldn't make it for the special screenings or pre-events because of work duh, but we had so much fun! We were having blast during each day, each movie. There were some moments we cried together (and others at the cinema too!), laughed and most importantly, we loved every movie we watched. 

Here are some highlights from our first weekend! 

KIKKI-K HAPPINESS WORKSHOP

Last Tuesday, I went to a workshop held by this amazing shop called Kikki-K. The topic is honestly the first thing that made me booked myself in. It was about Happiness. For the past two to three months, I was not feeling happy as I'm supposed to be. I wasn't happy about myself and the way I think, wasn't happy with my relationships with people, how they talked to me, how their words hurt my feelings, and how I treat myself. More than that, I wasn't happy because I was focusing on something that made me unhappy. 

So, a few days before the workshop, I stumbled on the shop when I was strolling around the mall after bought myself flowers. Without a doubt, I knew myself wanted to go but that day, I wasn't sure if I could or could not go because of the meeting and work stuff. After made sure I'm all good to go, I called the shop again and booked myself in. 

My motive to come to the workshop is because I know I wasn't happy, so I need someone or something, that could help me to find my way into the happiness again. And I thought this workshop might be great. 

It was. 

I made a right decision. It is also true meaningful events are no coincidence.

SELAMAT BULAN KEENAM, RINGWOOD!

Iya, sudah genap enam bulan aku dan kamu saling mengenal. Kamu yang menjadi saksi proses pendewasaanku. Kamu yang menjadi saksi isak tangis dan tawaku, mendengar lirihnya ucapan syukurku, bahkan menertawakanku saat aku lari-lari karena hampir ketinggalan bus, menggelengkan kepala saat melihatku tersesat. 

Ringwood, hari pertama aku tiba, setelah melewati malam yang berat di Melbourne karena kurangnya komunikasi yang berakibat salah paham, aku langsung tahu kalau kamu akan menjadi tempat yang paling berkesan selama aku tinggal di Victoria. Bukan hanya karena kamu tempat tinggal pertamaku di luar negeri, namun juga karena aku tidak hanya tinggal disini. 

I create a life.

WEEKEND DIARY | PART 8

I spent my Saturday relaxing at home, organised my room, did some washing and ironing, had a nice family dinner and went to bed early. On Sunday, I forced myself to get out from the bed - I know myself if I stayed in bed, I would not get out until dinner time. I hate when I'm being unproductive. So, instead of doing something hard, I took a shower, applied my makeup and went to the mall, had a nice lunch and then went to the cinema to watch Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. 

The weather was very nice this Sunday afternoon. When I got home around 4 pm, I grabbed my book and went to the park behind our house and enjoyed the sunshine before it set! This has been a pretty easy weekend. I tried so hard to get my wellness back to its balance. I'm a work in progress and that's okay. No rush. No need to be that hard again. Whatever happens, let it happens. 

This week was a big change for me. I made a big decision of my life and others. This decision was not easy to be made. Honestly speaking, I never thought I would have to take this way. So, for the past few days, I took my days carefully and I will keep it that way. This is not going to be easy but I need to get my shit done. I need to get my priorities right. 

I am my priority. My wellbeing, my mental and physical health. 

Cheers to the eye and mind opener weekend!