Monday, November 26, 2018


William Ricketts Sanctuary, Victoria.

"Anak sulung yang kami besarkan oleh cinta tidak akan kalah dengan hal yang bukan cinta. Terkadang memang terlihat tidak mudah tapi bukan berarti tidak mungkin. Diri sendiri suka membuat kejutan, yang dikira tidak bisa justru melampaui ekspektasi. Intinya percaya pada diri sendiri, bahkan ketika kamu tidak bisa." - DS. 

Ketika ada yang bertanya "bagaimana perasaanmu?" atau pertanyaan paling umum sekalipun, "apa kabar?" kebanyakan dari korban kekerasan emosional akan menjawab "aku baik-baik saja." dan tentu, itu sebuah kebohongan besar. 

Mungkin, inilah caraku menjelaskan keadaan yang sebenarnya setelah mengalami kekerasan emosional. 

Seperti naik rollercoaster. Ada hari di mana aku sangat bersemangat menjalani hari-hariku, mengejar mimpiku, bahkan aku bisa bilang dengan yakin kalau aku sangat bersyukur sudah berpisah dengan dia, aku bisa bersenang-senang dengan teman-temanku, aku siap membuka pintu-pintu kesempatan. Tapi, ada juga hari yang bahkan untuk bangun dari tempat tidur saja aku tidak sanggup. Teriakan, bentakan, kata dan kalimat yang mengiris hati itu terngiang, bahkan aku bisa mendengar suaranya. Ya, suara teriakannya. Jantungku berdegup kencang, kepala dan telingaku sakit, dan aku hanya bisa menangis, berusaha untuk bernapas karena rasanya seperti ada yang mencekik leherku. 

Bagi sebagian orang, mungkin lebih buruk atau mungkin tidak separah itu. Jika orang lain tahu, akan ada yang menghakimi "ya ampun, berlebihan sekali. Masa sampai segitunya?" karena mereka tidak tahu. Mereka tidak bisa memahami perasaan survivors, jangan merasa sedih dan kecewa ketika orang lain bereaksi jauh dari harapan. Ingat, mereka hanya bisa membayangkan. They didn't understand how it feels like

Itulah kenapa hanya kamu yang bisa menolong dirimu sendiri. 


Sunday, November 25, 2018


Copyright Warner Bros
"Everyone is scared of something," - Albus Dumbledore

I just didn't know where to start with this review, honestly. I like it but also at the same time, I'm so disappointed with how it turned out especially the ending.

It wasn't a horrible movie but it's not a good Harry Potter prequel. It is simply, oh my goodness can't believe I'd say something like this, the worst Harry Potter movie. The movie answered some of the questions from the previous movie, also some from the Harry Potter franchise. Unfortunately, it left me with more questions that I have beforehand. How was it possible? I have no clue.

As per usual, David Yates did an amazing job at making this movie interesting to start with. Began with some action scenes while introducing the new characters and a new plot. It was one beautiful ride. The film gave us a wonderful visual. For younger viewers, this might be too heavy as in too fast, too dark and too violent at some point. 

However, as the plot began to build, it got messy. It wasn't a horrible mess, it's just really messy I found it hard to follow and recognise where this movie wanted to bring us. Plot-wise, I was a bit disappointed with how it turned out. Especially the ending that left me devastating. Regarding to the title, Crimes of Grindelwald, I don't see any threat at all from him. He was just there, being one of the amazing wizards and influencers, and that's it. 

More about the movie, I love how they balanced its wonderful visual with the stunning original soundtrack. The original Harry Potter theme was giving me chill! I literally cried a bit when I heard the theme! Who wouldn't? As a Potterhead, I haven't heard that song - yes, it's on my head now as I type - in a cinema for a year or so.

In term of the new casting, gosh... couldn't be more grateful to see these actors played their characters. As if they're born to be in this movie. I mean, come on, Johnny Depp as Gellert Grindelwald, Jude Law as Albus Dumbledore, Zoe Kravitz as Leta Lestrange? Who would thought that was the most perfect decision?! Also, Claudia Kim as Nagini is just one of the best casting choices. I felt like she's just perfect for the role. What a pity, this film wasted their amazing talents.

Overall, I wasn't sure if I'm going to watch this movie again - probably not. My usual viewing for Harry Potter movies usually more than five times but for this one, I can't be bothered to pay for another ticket. It's just sad that it wasn't how we expected. But, if you are Potterhead, see how it goes for you. Maybe this is personal preference, maybe it's just me.

Love, Vera

Wednesday, November 14, 2018


Cockatoo Island, Sydney, NSW.
"Dia memang tidak pernah memukulku, tapi dia membuatku merasa tidak berharga."

Ketika berbicara tentang kekerasan, orang akan secara otomatis berpikir tentang mendorong, memukul, mengguncang, menampar, menendang, dan sebagainya. Tidak banyak yang menyadari kalau kekerasan emosional sama bahayanya dengan kekerasan fisik. Aku bahkan jarang menemukan topik ini menjadi bahan pembicaraan orang banyak. Sebagian besar merasa kekerasan emosional itu tidak ada, sisanya menganggap itu fase dari sebuah hubungan. 

Kekerasan emosional (sering disebut juga kekerasan mental atau kekerasan verbal) seringkali diartikan sebagai fase pertengkaran atau emosi sesaat. Pertengkaran dan kekerasan emosional berbeda. Bertengkar dengan pasangan itu wajar, adanya perbedaan pendapat atau argumen, itu pertengkaran normal. Namun jika adanya bentakan, menggunakan kata-kata kasar, bahkan kata-kata yang seharusnya tidak pernah keluar dari mulut seseorang itu bukan lagi pertengkaran, itu kekerasan verbal.

Sebagian besar dari kita tahu ciri-ciri kekerasan fisik tapi kekerasan emosional cukup sulit untuk diketahui karena tidak terlihat maka dari itu sering diabaikan. Padahal kekerasan emosional berdampak sama - bahkan dalam beberapa kasus, lebih buruk daripada kekerasan fisik. Menurut Jim Hedges dalam Escape the Hidden Dangers of Emotional Manipulation, akibat dari kekerasan emosional adalah hilangnya harga diri, kepercayaan diri, trauma seperti PTSD, depresi, bahkan bunuh diri. 

Emotional abuse is isolating and manipulating your perspective, chiselling your self-worth. It is not incident, it is the meticulous and malicious breaking down of your perception of who you are until you are left feeling worthless, spent and useless. Emotional abuse it the murder of your soul. 


Monday, November 12, 2018


"We can be. We believe in each other... that's everything. We are going to do great things. It's an experience - love, tragedy, joy... it's something that people will feel belongs to them." - Freddie Mercury.

Grew up in a family that loves music, I was familiar with Queen's songs. My brother, he loved rock and roll so much. He grew his hair up to his shoulders, dressed up like a rock star and went to uni like that! He was very cool! I mean, he dressed up like a rock star and took Law as major. Cool, wasn't it? His room was next to mine and I could wake up either to Metallica or Queen, depending on his mood that morning. 

So yeah, Queen was pretty much one part of my life. When I watched the trailer for the first time, I was so surprised. But learning from experiences, I didn't let myself to have high expectation. I love Rami Malek, but biopic always let me down. One fine Monday, I went to the cinema, bought myself a nice pumpkin spice latte and popcorn and prepared to enjoy the movie. 

134 mins and I didn't touch my drink neither my popcorn. I was so busy watching the movie. The whole time, I forgot it was a film, not a documentary. It felt so real! I didn't know if the story was authentic or not, but for some moments - especially when they were on the stage - I didn't see Rami Malek acted as Freddie Mercury, what I saw Freddie Mercury did his things. I felt elated and also sad at the same time. Happy because of the songs and how it portrayed on the screen, sad because they are no longer the same now. 

Sunday, November 11, 2018


This weekend, my Aussie family and I went to William Ricketts Sanctuary. We found the place when we went back from the Rhododendron Gardens last week and it was just, "Yap, we're going to that place next week!" 

I have never been to this kind of place before - I'm not even sure we have art sanctuary in Indonesia. For me, this is a very different place. I love it! The atmosphere is so peaceful, quiet, and yet so eerie at some point. I don't know, there's a sense of haunting: probably because there are many eyes from the sculptures or maybe because of the quietness.  

Anyway, these are some snaps that I took. Enjoy ;) 


Monday, November 05, 2018


The fresh air, the flowers, the scent, the beautiful view...Here are the highlights from my well-spent Saturday with my favourite people at the National Rhododendron Gardens

Sunday, November 04, 2018


Tell me something, boy. Aren't you tired trying to fill that void? Or do you need more? Ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore?

I have no words to describe how beautiful this movie is. Everything is just... brilliant! I never watched the original movie so I didn't know what to expect, not even knowing the story. Ever since I saw the trailer for the first time and cried, of course, because of the song and the gorgeousness of Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga together in one screen. 

I watched this movie twice. The first time, I had a movie companion and I wasn't crying as bad as I thought I would be. But the second time, I went by myself and I was devastated. I mean, I knew what's going to happen but it felt like the first time I saw everything and even more hurtful to watch. I have no clue why I was like that, why I was okay when I watched with someone but then cried my eyeballs out - had to wipe those mascara from under my eyes. Silly Vera! 

Friday, November 02, 2018


"I need to find a way to fill this black hole in me. I still have a family. I want them to be proud of me." - Nic Sheff.

There are so many reasons why I was so excited about the movie. First of all, this movie has some of my favourite actors: Steve Carell, Timothée Chalamet, Amy Ryan, Maura Tierney... I mean, what could be wrong? The Office never wrong, right? Second of all, the book is beautiful. It's so complex and scary at some stages, but it is brilliant!
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