My partner has been taking care of me endless times for the past few weeks, as life has been pretty challenging for me.
I wasn't in my best state - I skipped meals and/or had my meal late. I fell in the bathroom and hit my head so hard that I spent days in the hospital. I found out there was something unusual in my brain, and it added up to my personal medical mystery. Most days, I woke up tired.
I've had a few mental breakdowns - mostly from seeing my reflection in the mirror. I hate how I look, especially in my favourite clothes. Facing my phobia. Triggered and reliving my trauma. And then the bad thought haunted me, again.
I miss my family, being away from them is always a strange feeling. I miss my fur babies. I miss my flowers. Also, I miss my good old Aussie days.
Yet at the same time, so many exciting and big things coming my way, professional and personal lives, and I'm over the moon! Working on the projects gets me hooked up, something I look forward to every single day. Somehow it's so therapeutic to plan and organise those things. I feel even more alive.
Isn't it insane what mental illness can do to you? I feel everything and nothing at the same time.
One night he softly cares my head as I leaned on his chest, crying. He said this is a phase I have to get through because I'm one step closer to being healed.
If it is, then I'm willing to endure and be stronger. I'm willing to push through my limit.
My love, thank you for being so understanding and patient. You are there for me when I couldn't be there for myself🤍
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