Monday, August 14, 2017


Before I started this blog, I was more active on tumblr, interacted and made friends with lots of people from all around the world. There's something about being friends in internet that really unique and in certain ways, my internet friends actually understand me more than my real life friends. 

As I wrote blog and posted the links to my tumblr as well, my readers grew bigger each day and I couldn't be more thankful for that. My internet friends were my #1 readers, they even asked me to write one or two posts, asked my opinions about beauty related or movies (because those are stuffs that I talk the most on my blog) and then my readers just frequently send me messages about literally everything - things that are related to my blog or posts, or even not related to my blog like my personal life, and their personal lives.

We build the trust together. I earn their trust - and if they asked me anonymously, it didn't matter. For me, when people take their time to send me messages, it means they really want to know from my perspective. I should appreciate it. 

I am fully aware that my readers mostly are younger girls and boys, the rest are coming from any age, sometimes older than me, and I couldn't be more thankful for that. I always want to help people but I know, I can't so I hope with my blog at least I can help one or two. Even if it didn't help at all, it is somehow entertains or giving my readers inspirations.

Within nearly eight years I become a blogger - or in my perspective, a person who spend too many times on internet, writing her mind and post it on blogger website - lots of time, with people reading my blog, following my tumblr, instagram and even my snapchat, it is often people assume my life is perfect. 

It is completely wrong. 
Things that I share on my platform are those things that I want people see as my image. The happy, perfect life of me. The beautiful side of me. The great relationships I have with my family, friends and boyfriend. The amazing life. The goals. 
Life is not about perfection, nor about finding perfection. There's no such thing about perfection in life. Everything has flaws so we can appreciate what we already have. 

When these younger girls said "Your friends are very kind. Your friendship is literally goals, it's perfect. Mine are not that good, I even get bullied at school."  I really want to hug them if it's possible and say,

I was once bullied too. My friendships are not perfect, we have so many ups and downs, it's all about accepting each other flaws and respect our lives choices. It's all about being ourselves when we're with them. I have so many great conversations with them, but it's often we're fighting too. We make beautiful memories, but we do cry a lot and make ugly faces. 

And when I read messages like this, "You're beautiful. You have great family and friends. You're now a graduate student, and you probably have amazing boyfriend. You literally have perfect life. I want to be you."

I cry. Every time someone sent this kind of message to my tumblr inbox, I cry. Why? Because it is true but at the same time, it is also not true. 

Yes, I have amazing family, but just like any other families, we do have ups and downs. We do have family drama and all that stuffs. 

Yes, I have great friends, but like I said, it's about accepting our flaws and difference. We're not always friendship goals. 

Yes, I might have amazing boyfriend but really? I through bad break-ups every now and then. Even when it hasn't even started yet, when we both were about to try our relationship, it just ended. I don't have perfect boyfriend. Not yet. One day, maybe. 

I don't have a perfect life. I through so many amazing moments, just like people in the world. Just like you guys. I also through tears and blood too, just like other people. I am no different with other people. Those youtubers, those musicians, those actors and actresses, I believe they also through the similar with the rest of us. 

What I share on my social media is what I want people to see. I choose to not sharing my problems in my platform. The way I use my instagram to share my photographs, the way I interact with my internet friends on snapchat, the way I answer and give you advices on tumblr, that's how I want people see - a good, happy life of me. Every now and then, I share sad post without actually explaining my problems. I don't see why I have to explain everything to everyone. My personal life is not public consumption nor that it is an obligatory to share sadness or anger on social media. Why? Because it leads to so many misunderstanding. 

I share my feelings on my platform, not my problems. That's different. 

From what I understand, without saying I know everything, we don't find perfection in life. We accept the imperfections. I'm working on accepting my imperfections - both on myself and also my life. It is completely fine to be a work in  progress. It is okay to have flaws. It is okay to have shitty day. It is okay to cry. 

Remember this: every morning when you wake up, always decide to be better not to be perfect because you're perfectly imperfect and that's okay. We all are a work in progress.

Love always,



  1. you're a beautiful human being inside and out. i love you so much


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