19 THINGS I LEARNED IN 2019

Sunset at Prambanan Temple, July 2019

This year has taught me so many life lessons that nevertheless, as important as what 2018 has taught me. I'm that kind of person that likes to reflect back in one or two days before the new year and start making list or not so-called resolutions for the following year. 2019 is the year I tolerating less that I deserve. I survived so many things in 2019 such as heart attack at the age of 27, trauma from an abusive relationship, fake friendships, binge-eating junk food (this was the effect of my stress eating), and lots of bad things that I thought I'd never experienced. I hope in 2020, bad experiences that happened to me won't happen again but became a life lesson that I will truly remember forever. I hope in the next year, the sunshine is brighter, the clouds whiter, and the sky bluer. 

Today I want to share 19 things I've learned the past 12 months. I hope you can learn something from this post too. Happy New Year, everyone! Until next time, xx. 

1. Sometimes it is necessary to take some time off. No need to rush because life is not a competition. Let things be. Don't ever push yourself too hard. 
2. Brunch date with myself turned out to be the greatest self-care I've ever done this year. 
3. I took a month off from social media and that was the best thing I've ever think of. I should do that more often. 
4. Therapy is necessary. It's not a sign of weakness to seek help, it's a sign you are human. 
5. Trauma is exhausting but dear, you are stronger, braver, and kinder than you are last year!
6. If it is out of your hands, it deserves freedom from your mind too.
7. I am not the words he ever said to me. 
8. You know what, I can be a good person with a kind heart and still tell people to fuck off when needed. 
9. I can't heal my wounds if I'm busy to hide them.
10. Sometimes, it is best to stay silent and let people talk regardless of what they say about you is right or wrong. No need to defence yourself because wrong people can always find their way to stab you more and more. Just breathe, smile, and go. Let karma deals with it. 
11. It's hurt when the private conversation became public opinion.
12. Listen to those who love you purely, focus on them. Don't let people who wrong you get your attention.
13. Travelling is the best way to get to know people. So does living together, even for a few days or weeks. 
14. Time is not a measure of how relationships are good or bad. You can know people for less than a year and they turned out to be the best friends you've ever asked for. Or vice versa, people who know you since years ago turned out the toxic people you should eliminate. 
15. Take good care of your skin. Doing your skincare (and makeup) is therapeutic. 
16. Listen to more podcast. Read more books. And meditate.
17. Whenever you have a bad time, remember, this is just a phase that you have to get through, not your lifeline. It won't be like that forever. 
18. Your illness does not define you, your strength and courage do! 
19. All the love I have given to the wrong people, it will find its way back to me. 

Love, Vera