Vera Sumanta

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

TERIRIS KATA

Cockatoo Island, Sydney, NSW.
"Dia memang tidak pernah memukulku, tapi dia membuatku merasa tidak berguna."

Ketika berbicara tentang kekerasan, orang akan secara otomatis berpikir tentang mendorong, memukul, mengguncang, menampar, menendang, dan sebagainya. Tidak banyak yang menyadari kalau kekerasan emosional sama bahayanya dengan kekerasan fisik. Aku bahkan jarang menemukan topik ini menjadi bahan pembicaraan orang banyak. Sebagian besar merasa kekerasan emosional itu tidak ada, sisanya menganggap itu fase dari sebuah hubungan. 

Kekerasan emosional (sering disebut juga kekerasan mental atau kekerasan verbal) seringkali diartikan sebagai fase pertengkaran atau emosi sesaat. Pertengkaran dan kekerasan emosional berbeda. Bertengkar dengan pasangan itu wajar, adanya perbedaan pendapat atau argumen, itu pertengkaran normal. Namun jika adanya bentakan, menggunakan kata-kata kasar, bahkan kata-kata yang seharusnya tidak pernah keluar dari mulut seseorang itu bukan lagi pertengkaran, itu kekerasan verbal.

Sebagian besar dari kita tahu ciri-ciri kekerasan fisik tapi kekerasan emosional cukup sulit untuk diketahui karena tidak terlihat maka dari itu sering diabaikan. Padahal kekerasan emosional berdampak sama - bahkan dalam beberapa kasus, lebih buruk daripada kekerasan fisik. Menurut Jim Hedges dalam Escape the Hidden Dangers of Emotional Manipulation, akibat dari kekerasan emosional adalah hilangnya harga diri, kepercayaan diri, trauma seperti PTSD, depresi, bahkan bunuh diri. 

Emotional abuse is isolating and manipulating your perspective, chiselling your self-worth. It is not incident, it is the meticulous and malicious breaking down of your perception of who you are until you are left feeling worthless, spent and useless. Emotional abuse it the murder of your soul. 

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Monday, November 12, 2018

MOVIE | BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY (2018)


"We can be. We believe in each other... that's everything. We are going to do great things. It's an experience - love, tragedy, joy... it's something that people will feel belongs to them." - Freddie Mercury.

Grew up in a family that loves music, I was familiar with Queen's songs. My brother, he loved rock and roll so much. He grew his hair up to his shoulders, dressed up like a rock star and went to uni like that! He was very cool! I mean, he dressed up like a rock star and took Law as major. Cool, wasn't it? His room was next to mine and I could wake up either to Metallica or Queen, depending on his mood that morning. 

So yeah, Queen was pretty much one part of my life. When I watched the trailer for the first time, I was so surprised. But learning from experiences, I didn't let myself to have high expectation. I love Rami Malek, but biopic always let me down. One fine Monday, I went to the cinema, bought myself a nice pumpkin spice latte and popcorn and prepared to enjoy the movie. 

134 mins and I didn't touch my drink neither my popcorn. I was so busy watching the movie. The whole time, I forgot it was a film, not a documentary. It felt so real! I didn't know if the story was authentic or not, but for some moments - especially when they were on the stage - I didn't see Rami Malek acted as Freddie Mercury, what I saw Freddie Mercury did his things. I felt elated and also sad at the same time. Happy because of the songs and how it portrayed on the screen, sad because they are no longer the same now. 
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